Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Thief mentality

Being a university student, I'm trying to stay at home for as long as possible before being put out on my ass. Living at home has its ups and downs, and while the good (at times) outweighs the bad, it's not hard to revert to my usual aggravated pessimism when you're dealing with a younger sibling that has an issue with stealing from other family members.

I'm a new Apple convert, and after purchasing a MacBook Pro my old Asus was left relatively untouched for upwards of three weeks. Obviously, I hadn't been monitoring the computer as I had no real desire to know where it was. I allowed my younger sister to use my old laptop to apply for a job, after making it pretty explicit that this was a one-time thing and that if I caught her using it again I'd be pissed. Since then, I've come to the conclusion that my sister is either an asshole genie that thrives on the vagueness and ambiguity in statements and uses it to fuck you over in the end, or simply a kleptomaniac who thinks she'll never be caught.

Since I didn't want the thing laying around anymore, I put an ad up on the local buy/sell website and finally received a reply last night. Seeing as I still had bits of data on the computer I needed to transfer over to my Mac (I also needed to do a wipe of the hard drive), I planned to get everything done first thing in the morning so it could be ready to sell by mid-afternoon. Low and behold, it's nowhere to be found.

It's one thing to steal cigarettes, clothing, books, etc. But really. A fucking laptop? It's almost as though stealing petty items are like the mud bricks of the kleptomaniac pyramid. Do it a ton, build a high enough pyramid, klepto God-mode ensues. I wonder if the same applies to the fucking morons who decide it'd be a great idea to rob a liquor store by climbing onto the roof and through the vents. Once you get enough armed robberies under your belt, why shouldn't you be ready to play Batman and descend upon some unsuspecting liquor wholesaler through the ceiling?

Conclusively, I feel good knowing that Darwinism usually holds true for retards that think they can get away with anything. I suppose no matter how high you build your pyramid, in the end it was still built by slaves, and slavery is wrong.


  1. lol it's because staling is reinforcing. nothim's gonna stop her now

  2. you have to confront the problem head on dude, it's the only way.

  3. Ahh yes, stolen faptop. Such a scenario should be covered with open-source anti-theft software on it. Problem solved.

    I forgot the name of it but it's open source (free) and it works.