Thursday, 26 May 2011

I'm going to be more like an ant

Last night, I decided it would be a pretty good idea to sit down and watch some BBC documentaries. I chose Life in the Underbrush, a series of five or so episodes detailing the lives of insects featuring David Attenborough (not as an insect, unfortunately). While watching, I began to realize the pure, streamlined functionality that ant societies (in particular) are graced with in their day-to-day routine. Collecting food, guarding eggs and larvae, expanding their empire - it seems so complex to an individual who understands complexity, but for an ant; it's literally all in a day's work.

For such a small creature with such a tiny brain to work so efficiently in a socially hierarchical system without ever knowing kindness or the definition of cooperation is quite fascinating, and while I hold a fairly pessimistic (yet agnostic) view of the universe and it's creator, these supersocieties stink with the notion of intelligent design. While these notions may be easily thrown aside by evolutionary theory, the idea that the hive-mind of ant communities happened by chance still seems (to me) to be a tough pill to swallow. Frankly, it's fascinating.

So, why not be more like ants? Working in tandem with one another never experiencing the need for camaraderie to get shit done. Not being held back from cooperation by dislikes or preference. It's all such a simple concept that an astoundingly complex mind can never seem to fully grasp.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Pretend you're in front of a green-screen ALL THE FUCKING TIME

Today while sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office, I began to think about the number of people who show up here because they did something to hurt themselves. I then realized that the individuals who throw themselves in harm's way with no intention of gaining anything are the people that we should really be looking up to.

Doctor who cured cancer? Fuck no, I want to see the kid that jumped from the top of his house onto his dad's truck on the news, because that kid has balls and he probably broke both his legs.

Then I began thinking about a bed-ridden cancer patient in front of the green-screen that they used for that highway scene in Matrix Reloaded. The one where Morpheus almost dies.

Fuck. Yeah.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Thief mentality

Being a university student, I'm trying to stay at home for as long as possible before being put out on my ass. Living at home has its ups and downs, and while the good (at times) outweighs the bad, it's not hard to revert to my usual aggravated pessimism when you're dealing with a younger sibling that has an issue with stealing from other family members.

I'm a new Apple convert, and after purchasing a MacBook Pro my old Asus was left relatively untouched for upwards of three weeks. Obviously, I hadn't been monitoring the computer as I had no real desire to know where it was. I allowed my younger sister to use my old laptop to apply for a job, after making it pretty explicit that this was a one-time thing and that if I caught her using it again I'd be pissed. Since then, I've come to the conclusion that my sister is either an asshole genie that thrives on the vagueness and ambiguity in statements and uses it to fuck you over in the end, or simply a kleptomaniac who thinks she'll never be caught.

Since I didn't want the thing laying around anymore, I put an ad up on the local buy/sell website and finally received a reply last night. Seeing as I still had bits of data on the computer I needed to transfer over to my Mac (I also needed to do a wipe of the hard drive), I planned to get everything done first thing in the morning so it could be ready to sell by mid-afternoon. Low and behold, it's nowhere to be found.

It's one thing to steal cigarettes, clothing, books, etc. But really. A fucking laptop? It's almost as though stealing petty items are like the mud bricks of the kleptomaniac pyramid. Do it a ton, build a high enough pyramid, klepto God-mode ensues. I wonder if the same applies to the fucking morons who decide it'd be a great idea to rob a liquor store by climbing onto the roof and through the vents. Once you get enough armed robberies under your belt, why shouldn't you be ready to play Batman and descend upon some unsuspecting liquor wholesaler through the ceiling?

Conclusively, I feel good knowing that Darwinism usually holds true for retards that think they can get away with anything. I suppose no matter how high you build your pyramid, in the end it was still built by slaves, and slavery is wrong.